Apologies for not writing. What a cliché way to start a blog post. But it’s been some time. What have I been up to? I started teaching and working on my dissertation. As you can imagine, that has been taking up some if not most of my brain and writing capacities. New situations, new people, new schedules. But I’ve had time to adjust, now, so here is headbugz again.
Here is a headbug for you. Ever since I decided that a PhD would be the next sensible thing to do, I’ve been very confident of my choice of theme. I was going to take my unhealthy obsession with giants in medieval literature to the next level. I had an idea what to do with the texts, and then I read for half a year and suddenly discovered that it’s not going to work out the way I always imagined. I guess many PhD candidates have had the same experience. So what do you do? You have to adjust and maybe go out of your comfort zone. You might start all over and encounter the same problem again: Embrace the fail. Readjust, reevaluate, continue.
Previously, I have not encountered this problem often, because during my studies there was always a frame, a set date, maybe max. 5 months you’d spend with a project, and then it’s due and gone. And it’s not even that important because max. three people read it: you, your proof reader, and your lecturer. But now it’s different because there are years to get the work done – and a potential audience. It’s the first time that I can actually allow myself to get carried away by the things I discover (or discover the absence of something I thought was there for sure). That’s scary and exciting – simultaneously. You just have to accept that your project and your ideas about your field of research are going to change while you work on it. Yay science. Be like the promontory against which the waves continually break.